honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
