have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
