Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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