Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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