i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
