I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
