I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
