we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
