you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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