Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
