You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
