cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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