My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
