margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
