Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
