I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
