I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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