...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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