Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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