don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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