Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
