i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
