are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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