I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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