You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
