Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
