It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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