We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Damn victory sex feels great
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
