he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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