The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
this hospital has no fireball
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
