i jhust puked up my retainher.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
