dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
