I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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