drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
being pregnant is like rehab
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize