Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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