she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
