me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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