think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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