I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
