man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
