While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
