she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish life had little blips of pornography
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
