P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
