im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
