quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
