Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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