I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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