...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
