I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
