We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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