In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
