I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
