I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
