Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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