I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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