If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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