If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
