Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
