There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
