Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
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