dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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