you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
