Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
