He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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