yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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