As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
