So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
