we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
